Can You help me with something?
Can you help me with something? You know…Im good one on one….but when it comes to larger groups, I just have a lot of trouble. Im not sure if it’ social anxiety???……….
Following my weekly writing workshop class, ‘Journaling For The Self’…….a group of us routinely walk out to our cars together and share our thoughts and feelings about the class.
The workshop is an intimate one, as you can imagine by the title. It, amongst other intentions, is to help one create intimacy with oneself……to really get to know oneself, resolve old conflicts, unfinished business, work out internal conflicts, map out one’s vision, acknowledge one’s gains and accomplishments, etc.
People who came to learn more about the benefits of journaling and writing in general, have come to form a close bond as they share some of the intimate details of their lives in class. Something we don’t intuitively do early on in larger groups. The feeling is alive, warm, secure and comforting.
One of the participants, a bright, friendly, bubbly and very sociable kind woman asked me the above question, while standing outside of our cars. I like this woman, as she is authentic, a deep thinker and feeler, passionate, humorous, amongst many other things.
And here is some of what was shared…….
You know…….that has been part of my personal path. And what I am finding at this stage in my life, is that I have had enough of hiding…..it’s exhausting. I just think when you have this huge bubble inside of you that is wanting to burst with ideas, passions, wisdom, sharing, love, inspiration, song, poetry, connection……you get to a point where you are ready to be free, relinquished, flying, floating, whatever the resonating expression is for you. Sure it takes something to rewire the programming…..courage, faith in yourself and humanity, letting go of fears, old beliefs, sometimes a bit of a fight……but all of this is available to each and everyone of us, why not take full granted of this opportunity to be all that you know and don’t know yourself to be.
I remember an old coach of mine telling me.....'Lillian, you are a sunflower trying to be a daisy'. It was damn painful playing small.
My writing colleague identified with this space, with this feeling. And it has been my experience of late, in my therapy and coaching practice, that many people are now ready to create this kind of freedom for themselves.
Most interestingly, as some higher force might have it, when you are open to receiving, 'the things we are open to is a comin’'. I have had quite a few new clients come into my practice recently…..looking for this type of freedom.
And not surprisingly, today……my sister posted something she found on facebook, something I think you will really enjoy, and it sounds like this…….
There is no fight left in her. And thats the best thing that ever happened for her. For far too long the futile battle of light and dark has left her exhausted. She’s accepting both light and dark as the inherent gifts of the universe. She’s not in a duelling match with them. The light no longer wishes to ‘reform’ her dark, and her dark no longer wants to ‘control’ the light. Suddenly, she’s not playing the polarity game.
She’s not fooled into buying the teaching that there’s something wrong with her that needs fixing, and she’s got work to do before she’s finally ‘good’. Her divinity is in fully embracing her humanity. All of it. So where’s the imperfection?
The myth that one day light will vanquish the dark and there will be peace… would have kept her exhausted and imprisoned. She’s already at peace right now! Even the light and dark within her are sitting at peace with each other. Game over.
What she’s experiencing in the ceasing of war is an unbelievable tranquility and peace. Thank goodness she believed in her own wisdom - Sukhvinder Sircar
So sometimes we have themes in our lives, and it takes reflection at times to notice what the themes are.
What practices do you have in place to notice recent themes, recurring messages, invitations…..
May I suggest something?
One of our journaling exercises was to write a ‘List of 100’. We all have lists…..To Do Lists, Shopping Lists, Payment List, Bucket List……..
It helps to clarify, itemize, gather and notice…..when you want to find out what’s going on beneath the surface of an issue and it’s ok to let yourself repeat and then write the next thing that pops up.
In class I chose wherever my eyes rested and focused on the list of topics…..Things I Once Feared that I No Longer Fear. I surprised myself and wrote down 87 items…..repeating only one item twice. I would never have guessed I could come up with as many……and I imagine perhaps you might think this as well. What a great feeling to know that I have pushed through this many fears.
Give it a try…..see what come up, acknowledge yourself for getting your reluctance, your resistance out of the way and sitting with your yummy self for a cup of tea or coffee.
As usual I'd love to hear what has shown up for you, what you have noticed, what themes you are now awake to….
7/20/2018 08:25:10 am
Social anxiety is very common to other people who grow up not used to the idea of meeting different people. They are just too afraid to talk and express themselves because they are afraid of the perception that might be associated with them. Well, people are born judgmental. It seems like we cannot do something about it, that's why we would rather express ourselves. We need to overcome social anxiety and learn how to deal with different kinds of people.
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