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TIME IS ALL YOU HAVE

11/9/2017

Living in the moment. Mindfulness. Presence.

How many times have you heard these concepts over the past year or two?

I know I hear them almost daily….whether in the context of a conversation with a friend, a client, or meditation.

Day 6 of Oprah and Deepak’s current Free 21 Day Meditation….speaks of just that. Over 20 minutes of a “sermon” of sorts and then meditation…..focuses on bringing us back to our bodies, to the moment, to all the infinitesimal “goings-on” that happen in every moment……that we miss.

Oprah speaks of a mentor who told her this:

If you miss the look in your child’s eye one day…you’ve missed it.
If you miss the look in your lover’s eye the next day….you’ve missed it.
If you miss the beauty of sitting under the trees, you’ve missed that too.
If you add that up over many moments, and then many days and years…you may wind up missing the most important aspects of your own life.

How profound this really is when we look back at the things we missed in life. How beautiful and wise of a lesson to take with us moving forward into our day, our week and life as a whole.

Deepak says,

“Ask yourself who is listening to the words being said right now? Present awareness is listening, it’s that simple. Meditation opens the way to experience present awareness without outside distractions. It also takes us outside the ego and it’s constant need for attention. When present moment awareness has no demands upon it….you experience first hand, how natural and easy it is. As our meditation practice grows, it becomes just as natural and easy to be present in daily activity. Only when you feel perfectly peaceful and at home in yourself, does the present moment begin to unfold as the lasting source of fulfillment. A state of awareness where you need nothing outside yourself. The here and now is enough.”

Phew…..that’s a lot and soooo powerful.

I spoke with my sister just a few days ago…..and she told me about her intention to slow life down one day.

She went shopping for groceries and was looking for beets. She noticed a male employee…..specifically, one of the many employees we may not even notice stacking the vegetables………who may be in our way, may be feet away from us.. She asked him for what she was looking for, and he looked around. He looked everywhere, and not finding it on display, he went to the back of the store and still did not find them. She thanked him and went off to look for something else.

She then went back to him to ask another question, and again, his efforts were above and beyond. He gave her the answer and they again acknowledged one another and parted ways. My sister continued her shopping and ten minutes later, he appeared in one of the many rows with the beets she was looking for.

My sister, touched by this man’s attention to her needs, his mindfulness of her request, his being in the moment, lovingly thanked him, and she was gifted with the lesson of living in the moment for the rest of the week.

Someone she, or any of us, may not give much mind to…..gifted her with an important lesson……connection, gratitude, a noticing of the existence of another, understanding the significance of every human life, seeing what unfolds when living in the moment, noticing our needs are met through living in the moment.

Like Deepak said……..”The here and now is enough”.

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inner child and forgiveness

11/8/2017

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This is a post on facebook that a client (in couples counselling) shared with me following her appointment with her fiancé. We had a breakthrough session, where their individual truths were expressed, tears were shed and healing strides were made.

Both clients are loving, caring, kind, good people who found each other following painful separations..... and for the most part, do really well together. But when they hit their walls.....communication suffers, distance is created...and tsunami like feelings of hurt, abandonment, fear, anxiety, annihilation.....cause them to relate in ways they would never readily see as possible in themselves. She came from a home where her parents were largely absent, a father working long hours and a mother with a gambling addiction that left the client at home alone at night. He came from parents with a highly conflictual relationship ending in divorce, where his deep feelings were unheard and unacknowledged, and left alone to navigate the - at times - terrifying territory. They are presenting each other with their walls....he shutting down when her anxiety surrounding connection comes up, and she...focusing on where he is “not enough” in her attempt to reign him in closer.

The above post however is not only what happens in relationships to another, but also in relationship to ourselves. The little child in the cage of the adult can be begging to be heard by the adult in us. That child may just want to play, to connect, to forgive and play again, be understood or acknowledged....she or he may even want the freedom to cry and scream at will...to have time slow down....see and be touched by wonder or magic....

But the more tightly woven that cage, each wire within an opinion, a limiting belief or judgement about ourselves...the less likely we will be able to live lives that express the needs of the child as well as the adult, the needs adult as well as the child.

If you are in conflict with yourself, and you are unwilling to forgive yourself enough to live life freely, from a place of trust, love, compassion and faith in yourself and the goodness available to you in the world...then perhaps it is time, perhaps it is a calling for you to restore these fundamental needs to your freedom, happiness and peace of mind.

Perhaps it is time to loosen the weave of that cage you have woven so tightly in an effort to protect the innocence, the naivite, the unguardedly playful, the vulnerable and trusting...the part of you that can easily be moved and touched by the wonder, kindness and generosity this world has to offer you.

If you want to explore this conflict, the one that prevents you from opening up to the life you want to manifest.....then I invite you to set up a 20 minute call to discuss what is available for you and how you can manifest it.

In the meantime, notice what these two parts are asking for, and listen. They will tell you.