 Did you know it is physically impossible for a butterfly to see its own wings? Did you also know that the wings of a butterfly are considered to be one of the most beautiful of nature’s creations? They can’t see how beautiful they are. But everyone else can…I feel like people can be the same way. -DW  BOOK REVIEW  Have you felt lonely since childhood? Perhaps you've had - or currently have - people around you who love you, tell you they love you, and support you, and yet you still feel lonely. This book explores why that might be so. Across cultures, myths and fairy tales often tell the story of an abandoned child who must find their own path. Along the way, they are guided by animals or mythological figures and, in a relatively short story, arrive healed, happy and surrounded by love and beauty. Of course, life isn't a fairy tale. The journey takes time, filled with struggle, persistence, and incremental victories. Fairy tales may simplify the process, but the underlying truth of transformation remains: its's possible to emerge whole. Emotional maturity - the foundation for emotional intelligence - requires certain conditions to be in place. One of these is the generational context: parents, grandparents, and ancestors who had the benefit of emotional maturity themselves. Historically, emotional maturity wasn't always necessary for survival, so it's understandable that it wasn't always cultivated. Generational trauma and inherited pattersn are part of this reality. But here's the critical point: blame is not necessary for healing. In fact, blame can keep us trapped as victims of circumstance. If we view our parents as responsible for our current emotional state, it can feel as though they hold all the power - and we have none. But if we shift from blame to responsibility, we reclaim our power. Responsibility doesn't mean punishment or guilt - it means taking charge of our own healing. We may not have recieved the guidance, support, or love we needed as childeren, but now we can provide it for ourselves. By embracing responsibility, we create a path forward, one that empowers us to shape the trajectory of our lives. The jorney toward emotional maturity and intelligence is not about assigning fault - it's about reclaiming agency, learning to nurture ourselves, and stepping into the life we choose. Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents explores how our personal histories shape us, highlights our inherent resilience, and shows how to harness these strengths to create a life of intentional choice.
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 As we navigate the twists and turns of life, we often find ourselves at crossroads, where the path ahead is uncertain. Yet, in these moments, we have the power to choose how we respond. We can remain tight in the bud, resisting the flow of inner events, or we can take the leap and bloom into our true potential. Taking responsibility for our lives involves a journey of self-discovery, where we learn to listen to our inner voice and honour our deepest desires. But what does it really mean to take responsibility for our lives? It means acknowledging that your choices and actions shape your reality. that becoming accountable for your decisions and actions helps you learn from mistakes to make better choices in the future. You also cultivate self awareness in the process which supports you in making informed decisions that lead to a more authentic life. Personal growth occurs, as you become open to areas for improvement and work on becoming the best version of yourself. With self compassion, you are better equipped to handle challenges and setbacks, you are more likely to bounce back quickly from adversity. Finally, you are left with a sense of freedom, as you gain more control over your life, and beak free from external/imagined expectations and standards, and start to live life on your own terms. When we take responsibility for our lives, we experience a profound shift in our sense of empowerment and freedom. We begin to see that we have the power to shape our own destiny, and that our choices can lead to growth, learning, and transformation. We become more resilient, more adaptable, and more confident. We learn to trust ourselves, and to trust the process of life. As we cultivate self-awareness and self-compassion, we begin to understand that taking responsibility is not about self-blame or self-criticism, but about self-love and self-care. It's about being kind to ourselves, and acknowledging our humanity. It's about embracing our imperfections, and celebrating our successes. A Meditation for Taking Responsibility  Find a quiet space, and take a few deep breaths, perhaps placing your hand on your heart. Imagine yourself standing at a crossroads, with multiple paths unfolding before you. Imagine what those paths are and where they could lead you to. Perhaps it might sound like freedom, or peace of mind, or a full and juicy life. What would those lives look like? Where would you be, with whom would you be? What life truly reflects who you are, a life where you are seen and is an expression of who you are and what you offer to the world. Notice which path resonates with you the most, and take a step forward. As you do, feel the weight of responsibility lifting, and the sense of empowerment growing.
Repeat the following phrase to yourself: "I take responsibility for my life, and I trust in my inner guidance." Allow these words to sink deeply into your heart, and feel the sense of freedom and possibility that arises. May you walk the path of responsibility with courage, compassion, and wisdom. May you blossom into your full potential, and may your life be a reflection of your deepest desires. Wishing you a week of self-discovery, growth, and empowerment. If you are still discovering what could be at the end of those paths, and/or which of those paths to choose from, you can reach out to me here to start your journey to this fascinating exploration. I would be honoured to be a part of your walk to self-discovery.
 And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud, was more painful than the risk to bloom. -Anais Nin  We all face this turning point repeatedly: when resisting the flow of inner events suddenly feels more hurtful than leaping toward the unknown. Yet no one can tell us when to leap. There is no authority to bless our need to enter life but God within. -Mark Nepo The above quotes, from The Book of Awakening: Having the Life You Want by Being Present to the Life You Have, speaks to the many ways and times throughout our life time, when we have resisted the inner stirrings that lie within. It could be saying “Go North”, but that might take us too far from the comforts of famiiar people in our lives, it could say SouthWest, but then our employment and financial security is in the North East. It could even just say take 10 steps in that direction, just taste, dip a toe, but we may fear that we will like it more than the familiar life we have.  We all have enormous worlds within. Just lay down for 10 minutes in the course of your day and notice where your mind goes. Do something that is centering, that brings you back to you, and feel the feelings - perhaps the aches and pains that need tending to, the rumbling in your stomach asking you to nourish it…..the tightness in your shoulders asking to go for that swim that always seems to stretch out the kinks. I know that life has at times, asked me to be outwardly focused, and then, softened or slowed down just enough to direct me inwardly. During these times, I tend to have paper and pen with me everywhere I am, or use my Notes App on my phone to document things like complaints, joys, inspiration, wisdom, humorous moments parts of my body needing attention…….whatever shows up, so that I can be present to the inner rumblings. I will share them with people in my life, and they will give me feedback or simply express what shows up for them in the context of sharing. In this way, I make alive what would otherwise be silent, missed, unnoticed, hidden behind the curtains of what is visible to others..and myself. I learn the art of honoring and respecting the “spirit”, the “soul” that lives deeply within, that can easily be ignored, misunderstood and forgotten, should I only give my attention to the tasks, responsibilities, and commitments that, to no end, call me outward.  I also become much more in tune with and clear about who I am……for myself, others and the world at large. I hone the skill and develop the practice of valuing myself and my life. In sharing my inner stirrings with admired and respected friends, there are themes of feedback over a lifetime that confirm who I already know myself to be (and noteworthy, as a young woman who I wanted to be). I could share them with you here, but this email is more about you, and the life that is yours, a precious unfolding and blooming of who you are in the world. Mark Nepo asks:
The key to this meditation is “safely”…..when you are exposing yourself in this visualization, everything and everyone is safe. They are kind, generous, understanding, charitable, forgiving and non-judgmental. They are waiting for you to open up your centre, because they already know that you are good and enough, and want to witness the sparkle that bursts forth. Like magic to a yummy 5 year old, icing on the already delicious cake, the bernaise sauce to a perfectly cooked steak. Here is to having a week of self-wonder, self-kindness and magic.  |
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