The Worlds We live in

​,I have already prepared your lunch for you, you have helped me so much, and my life is going to be so much easier because you came into it.  You know, when you are retiring, you have to be smart about your money, you have to save here to have that, and save there to have this.  Money, luxuries and comforts don’t come as easy in old age and you have to be careful.
 
I have had the good fortune to walk into and through the worlds of thousands of people, if only for a few sessions or at times, year(s).   Every and each one of these people have a story, have a perspective nurtured by their life experience and the lenses they wear through which they filter these experiences.  Their culture, spiritual practice, community, family, economic background, to name a few, are responsible for these filters.  For some it’s their transiency or stability of geographical location, perhaps they have never left their home town, or are world travelers.
 
Either way, we have filters that delete some of the information from our experiences, distort some and also lead to grand generalizations about people, events, the world, work, the accumulation of wealth, etc.
 
The above was what a client told me one recent day, a woman of East Indian descent,whose home always welcomes me with the exotic aromas of Indian cuisine.  On this day, she prepared a traditional meal for my travels, as that day was a day of sessions with those who are unable to leave their homes for one reason or another.  She shows her gratitude with her exquisite flare for the culinary….. I receive and hold her sentiment of gratitude as I savor the love and care she puts into the meal’s preparations.  A lovely loop of give and receive, gratitude and joy.
 
What I became keenly aware of, was the worlds within the larger world we live in.  Her truth was that life is hard, that you have to work hard to live, to make things possible, to have what you want.  My thought at the time was “Manifesting your desired old age makes life easy and enjoyable”.  When I heard my thought, I became aware of the old adage “what you focus on, grows”.
 
As I sit outside on my porch from time to time, I notice one family who struggles with relationships in their household, are often found cleaning and beautifying their home, cars, tools,  and often find themselves disappointed, disillusioned, raising their voices at one another, and often walking away from old and unfinished arguments.  
 
There is another cheerful and positive family next door who have focused their intention for summer time freedom….both adults of two young children, creating a career and business that allow them to leave for their recently bought cottage…. all summer long.  
 
Lastly, the young 26 year old of Indigenous descent who recently organized a first meeting with her extended native family…..finding her passion, her gift, and her purpose in raising awareness through her research, about what its like to grow up self proclaimed indigenous, but not being accepted or taken seriously by her tribe, because she doesn’t look the part.  What once was a missing in her life, is suddenly manifesting because of her desire for it and the actions she is taking.
 
All of these results are available to us because we focus on them.  
 
How do we shift our focus from that which we don’t want to what we do want?  How do we create this as a practice?  What’s in the way?  What actions are necessary to bring these desires to fruition?

• Awareness is the first step.  Not only do we need to be aware of what we are thinking, feeling and focusing on, but we also need an awareness of what it is serving. 

 

• Fear holds us back..  Resistance will always be the default when we don’t have a deep understanding and subsequent reframing of the fear.  Fear will always be in the driver’s seat if we give it the power to do so.

 

• The ability to be with the discomfort.  For the family who walks away from arguments….the ability to be with the discomfort of their emotions would hold them and carry them through the argument and place value on the relationships rather than comfort.

 
These are the beginning steps, the foundation, to allow you to witness all the information you have filtered out of your experiences, adding pieces to the unfinished puzzle, if you will, that have you complete what is uncompleted, to have the whole picture before you, the missing information that allows you to take the next steps.
 
This has been a practice in my own life, and is where I take others in my therapy and coaching business.  Not one of these clients will tell you that they would have gone to the discomfort that leads to their breatkthrough, on their own.  But they will tell you that being gently pushed, supported and guided through the discomfort was the place where they reconnected with their partners, where they discovered their own truth about their sexual orientation, or realized that their fear of being abandoned drove them to lower their bar on acceptance of ill treatment……and subsequently found their value.
 
Our desires, if remaining desires, will only manifest when we are willing to sit with the discomfort that is blocking their expression, and then follow by taking action.
 
If you would like a partner in your exploration, click here to set up a half hour strategy call and we can talk about how I can help you shift your desire to your living truth.  You are worth it, we are all worth it!!
 
With love,

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